Politeness!

[Alan Mater]

It never ceases to amaze me at how rude people can be, and it's almost as if they get some sort of thrill out of it.

My girlfriend works at our local weis store as a cashier. She always deals with at least one rude customer every week, if not day. I remember her telling me about this guy waiting in line for quite some time as the line was very long. It was the 10 items or less line, and the lady a couple of people a head of him had more than 10 items. Having all the time in the world, he counted her items and saw she had more than 10. Rather than saying something at the time before it was her turn to check out, he waited till my girlfriend started scanning her items through and then threw a fit at my girlfriend saying that lady had more than 10 items and wondering why she didn't notice or do anything. He created a scene, so much that the one manager got involved. My question is, why didn't the guy say something sooner, or just mention to the lady that she's in the 10 items or less line and that she should move to another line?

I always tell my girlfriend I don't have patience for people like that. They intentionally are rude and don't care about anyone else's feelings. I'd get fired if I dealt with people like that in a retail setting because I'd just tell him off.

Even though the customer is always right, their actions beg to differ.

[RussellWebb]

Hey Alan - I like to spin things around sometimes when these people cross my path, which isn't very often because I'm working from home. I try to see it as a challenge and observe their behavior without reacting.... it takes some practice, but it's cool when it works. As you calmly observe their temporary insanity, without a reaction, you can actually help them. They may notice that you're not getting pissed off, and they wonder why... then sometimes they'll pause and reflect on what just happened. Other times they're clueless. That's ok too.

Some people have no social grace, or they're acting out for some reason, or they're stressed. They can be teachers too. I wouldn't have any expectations either... everyone's on their own journey. Some are conscious some are unconscious - it's a whacked out world we live in and I love it.

[MichelleJ]

I sometimes find that people these days will actually go out of their way to be rude when filing a complaint. For instance, why can't a customer just say a simple "no thank you" rather than writing in an angry tone or making threats?

Of course the customer is always right, so as professionals we have to suck it in and be the bigger person... but is there a better way to deal with rude clients?

When I used to work at McDonald's, I recall the store manager actually yelled back at the customer who shouted profanities at a teenage employee since the order was taking so long. While the store manager didn't use any vulgar language, he still firmly told the customer to leave the store because he wouldn't serve someone who was so rude.

I think that this is the right thing to do. Nobody should have to put up with rudeness or abuse even by a customer. If the customer cannot behave in a decent manner, I would quietly tell them that until they can treat me with respect I would prefer not to deal with them. I have been in that position and will not allow anyone to behave badly to me. In fact people will only behave badly towards you if you allow it.

MichelleJ

[David Hurley]

I think the store manager was quite right to protect his staff by ejecting the abusive customer.

The reasonable choices you have are either to refuse to deal with rude people or win them over by politeness.

In the case of dealing with customers by email, some people come over as being rude, or forget their Ps and Qs, but a polite and helpful response often gets a much politer reply from the customer.

"Whoever is out of patience is out of possession of his soul. Men must not turn into bees, and kill themselves in stinging others." Francis Bacon

Source: http://english-renaissance.net

[Alan Mater]

Hey Alan - I like to spin things around sometimes when these people cross my path, which isn't very often because I'm working from home. I try to see it as a challenge and observe their behavior without reacting.... it takes some practice, but it's cool when it works. As you calmly observe their temporary insanity, without a reaction, you can actually help them. They may notice that you're not getting pissed off, and they wonder why... then sometimes they'll pause and reflect on what just happened. Other times they're clueless. That's ok too.

Some people have no social grace, or they're acting out for some reason, or they're stressed. They can be teachers too. I wouldn't have any expectations either... everyone's on their own journey. Some are conscious some are unconscious - it's a whacked out world we live in and I love it.

Hey Russell,

That's an interesting approach. I like it!

Everyone needs to be handled differently, and it's hard to say how one will react to your reaction. The nice approach is always best and usually produces the best outcome.

In the case of the disgruntled McDonalds customer, the manager did the right thing for sure. There's no need to have your employees put up with someone like that, especially when they can't retaliate. The manager made the right call by telling him to leave.

[Alan Mater]

I think the store manager was quite right to protect his staff by ejecting the abusive customer.

The reasonable choices you have are either to refuse to deal with rude people or win them over by politeness.

In the case of dealing with customers by email, some people come over as being rude, or forget their Ps and Qs, but a polite and helpful response often gets a much politer reply from the customer.

"Whoever is out of patience is out of possession of his soul. Men must not turn into bees, and kill themselves in stinging others." Francis Bacon

Source: http://english-renaissance.net

Hi David,

That quote is awesome, and great for someone like me. I'm always told I need more patience, and it's something I've been working on for years (believe it or not). I'm usually the worst when I'm driving, but no one can here me complain anyway (unless you're riding with me ).

I would never cause a scene at a store or any social gathering if I lost my patience. I'm not one to be rude and inconsiderate towards others. The saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all" comes to mind. Everyone should practice that.

[David Hurley]

About rudeness and driving...

It reminds of one of Johnny Wimbrey's stories about how he won't let another person's reality dictate his mentality (or something like that! )...

When another driver objected to his driving and gave him the "middle finger", JW's response was - "hey, he just told me I'm number ONE! That's great! "

[Alan Mater]

About rudeness and driving...

It reminds of one of Johnny Wimbrey's stories about how he won't let another person's reality dictate his mentality (or something like that! )...

When another driver objected to his driving and gave him the "middle finger", JW's response was - "hey, he just told me I'm number ONE! That's great! "

Haha... now that's funny . Thanks for sharing, David.

[MichelleJ]

I was at a training once where Jim Rohn was the main speaker and he made a remark that I have never forgotten. He said that there are not more than maybe nine or ten horrible people in the whole world. the only problem is that they tend to move around a lot.

MichelleJ

[Alan Mater]

I was at a training once where Jim Rohn was the main speaker and he made a remark that I have never forgotten. He said that there are not more than maybe nine or ten horrible people in the whole world. the only problem is that they tend to move around a lot.

MichelleJ

Jim Rohn is an excellent speaker. I have many audio CD's of his thanks to Success University. I'd have to disagree with his statement, though, as there are far more than nine or ten horrible people in the world. Sad, but true.

[GT Bulmer]

I was at a training once where Jim Rohn was the main speaker and he made a remark that I have never forgotten. He said that there are not more than maybe nine or ten horrible people in the whole world. the only problem is that they tend to move around a lot.

MichelleJ

That is hilarious! Thanks for posting it, Michelle.

I know there might be more than 10 horrible people in the world, but Jim's statement helps us to reframe the issue and look at it from a more positive perspective - one that doesn't drag us down to level of those 10. After all, we certainly don't want to become #11!

GT

[Edward]

If you have some thing good with others then do not think that how you will be admired by them Just do and forget.

[Tiger33]

That makes me appreciate the neighborhood cub scouts and girl scouts because they are very polite and raise a lot of money for their organization and various charities.

[jessica_david]

Thats very bad of them, as the age you are mentioning is the age of learning they might forgot to thank you as they were kids but you should have asked them and remind them to thank everyone in future whoever help them.

[Brandon]

Its not expected from those cub scouts. They should thank you. But they did not do it. But i think they are very little aged boys. So, they done this mistake. I think they will learn politeness by increasing their age.